Sorry internet, I've been neglecting you.

Bye bye CRS.

I was just surfing the local online classifieds, and there is a listing for the job I'm doing now. Hmmm, that's not good.

blah blah

I'm headed to Las Vegas tomorrow via Jet Blue. Thank God! I need this vacation in the worst way. One more minute in New York and I may lose it for real.

Thanks to Cole and Mike for their concern.

I'm staying at the Imperial Palace, but will be spending a lot of time at the best kept secret in Vegas: The Barbary Coast.

Happy Irish Day

Oh, it's a blast, let me tell you. Fuck you Pfizer

Everyone can go through times of feeling down or grieving for a while after having suffered a loss.

But for people with the medical condition called depression, feeling very sad or having no interest in activities can go on for a long time. Sometimes, this happens for no apparent reason to people whose lives are going well:


A life-long tennis player finds she doesn't want to play anymore, and feels restless and unable to concentrate much of the time

A busy young man feels "blue" for weeks, can't sleep, and loses weight even though he is not ill or dieting

And sometimes, depression can be brought on by a major life event:


Months after losing her job, a woman still feels "blah" and has no interest in looking for a new job

A year after her mother's death, a woman still feels sad, and thinks about suicide sometimes





More people suffer from depression than you might think. Depression strikes people of all ages, backgrounds, and ethnic groups. It is estimated that about 20 million adults in the U.S. suffer from depression each year, and that up to 25% of all women and up to 12% of all men in the U.S. will experience an episode of major depression some time in their lives. About 1 out of 6 American adults have depression during their lifetimes.

Depression is not a sign of weakness or a character flaw. It is a medical condition.

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Depression is a common medical condition with very specific symptoms. The symptoms of depression, as with any other illness, may differ from person to person. Not everyone will have all the same symptoms.

Signs and Symptoms of Depression

The term depression refers to:

a persistent sad mood and/or
loss of interest or pleasure in most activities

And is accompanied by some of the following symptoms:

Changes in appetite or weight
Changes in sleep patterns
Restlessness or decreased activity that is noticeable to others
Loss of energy or feeling tired all the time
Difficulty in concentrating or making decisions
Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt
Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide

For a doctor to make a diagnosis of depression, these symptoms must have lasted at least 2 weeks, and be troublesome enough to cause a person distress or interfere with work, social life, or daily functioning. You should see your doctor to find out the possible cause of these symptoms.

Sometimes, in addition to the symptoms of depression, many depressed people may also complain of physical problems. For example, someone might have chronic aches and pains that just can't be explained, such as persistent headaches, backaches, or stomachaches. Depressed people may also experience digestive problems such as dry mouth, nausea, constipation, and, less commonly, diarrhea. Being constantly worried, anxious, or irritable are also possible hidden signs of depression.

Everything has become boring so please leave me alone, I have to ride this one out by myself. All the stories are going to be re-writen or thrown out.

Coffee is 'health drink' says Italian

"Coffee contains tannin and antioxidants, which are good for the heart and arteries, she says.

It can relieve headaches.

It is good for the liver - and can help prevent cirrhosis and gallstones.

And the caffeine in coffee can reduce the risk of asthma attacks - and help improve circulation within the heart."

Thank god! I'm all set!

Dear Blogosphere

I told my job today that I would be away for two days next week to go to Las Vegas.

They didn't take it too well.

"We must have 100% attendance from all the temps until July." Uhhhhhhhh. "We can't slow down production" Uhhhhhh?????? I'm not a robot, man.

I knew from the beginning that this job was not gonna be a match for me, and this seals the deal. I mean, come on, at most I can pump out seven footlocker cash registers in a day, not a huge loss. I also told them that I had no interest in becoming a permanent employee which put me on this new kind of level. Felt like my prison sentence was shortened. Oh well, fuck em if they can't see the folly of their ways. I'm going to go rock out in the hedonistic beyond thuderdome playland in Nevada.

I'm praying to the gods of the internet that a new job will come up for me. My patience is wearing really thin at the computer factory. What started out as a way to get back on track is going to warp my sanity and fade my creativity if I don't get out soon.


You see, I have this problem.

I think I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

This is bullshit.

There are TONS of things I like to do or can do or should do.

But I'm lazy.

Or, I have some weird, deep-down fear of success.

That's probably it.

I've come "this" close many times to the fast lane, where everything is falling into place, and the future looks bright....

and then,


I fuck up.

It's all pretty unconscious. I can look back on a lot of things now and see this pattern repeating. Fourth grade, I just realized is maybe where it began. Hmmm.

It's gotten down into the thick of things right now. This (I hope) is the LAST damn "dark night of the soul" I have to go through.

All my dreams are loosing their color.

Everything that is important to me is turning into a smeared, faded eye chart that I can't read anymore. It's like why bother?

I've got to get it back, with whatever means necessary. This is my last chance.

just say no kids.

I'm not gonna lie

I love sleeping. I love sleeping so much.

My bed is so comfortable, dreams are way more interesting than reality, tired all the time.

Sleep.

I like sleep more than sex.
Not that I **cough cough** would even remember what it's like, and I'd probably be too tired anyway.
I like sleep more than music. More than being awake and conscious. More than breathing and living.
I like sleeping even more than the burger king on 17k. Sleeping takes away all my problems and invigorates this unrepressable optimist for another day. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

And by the way, I'm fine everyone, thanks for asking. No I'm not. Just kidding.

Right?...

I'm in Washington DC

Actully I'm in the Arlington Virginia area right now. Staying with my friends Greg and Beth.Say word.

The Giving Tree

brain chemestry chugging still water waves lawof allowing

tweleve hours of sleep are mandatory to escape the prison work camp.

dreamt of a new supermarket with overcrowded circular magazine racks

dreamt that I was a chineese thug, stole money can't run

Dude, where's my Blog?

Where is the money?

Sometimes I feel like most of my problems would go away forever if a huge sack of cash landed on my doorstep. No strings attached. No scary subplots involving international criminals. Just, BAM. Money.