Help Me Please - The Suckers May Be Right

Maybe it's because I have $20.00 to my name. Maybe it's because it's because of this abominable winter. Maybe it's because I desperately want to move out of my house. Maybe it's because I want to move out of New York State. Maybe it's because I think I'll miss New York. Maybe it's because I can't find ways to make decent money. Maybe it's because I have lots of debt. Maybe it's because I feel like that debt will never go away. Maybe it's because I need lots of money to move to L.A. Maybe it's because my sister is fucking up her life. Maybe it's because I don't want to work. Maybe it's because I'm hungry all the time, but can't afford to eat. Maybe it's because I desperately want to sleep, but insomnia keeps me awake. Maybe it's because even though I love my friends and family, I want to escape them. Maybe it's because I'm mad at American society in general. Maybe it's because I can't find love anywhere. Maybe it's because my car is sucking all my money from me. Maybe it's because I hate Christmas. Maybe it's because I can't buy anyone presents this year. Maybe it's because the smallest things annoy me and make my heart race. Maybe it's because I can't relax anymore. Maybe it's because I feel like a total failure right now. Maybe it's because people are worried about me. Maybe it's because I say I'm ok and don't mean it. Maybe it's because I don't enjoy doing half the things I used to do. Maybe it's because I feel I've wasted the past 10 years of my life. Maybe it's because my usually positive outlook is receding. Maybe because I have no overwhelming passion. Maybe it's because I need my own computer. Maybe it's because people don't dream big enough. Maybe it's because my father annoys me, but he's one of the nicest people I know. Maybe it's because I have to wear glasses. Maybe it's because lately I've been wondering if I'd be better off dead. Maybe because I realize I don't mean that. Maybe it's the liquid grating sound of my stomach rumbling in anxiety and hunger. Maybe it's because I'm starting to believe all the suckers out there may be right. Maybe it's because I know ways to fix all this, but refuse to. Maybe it's because I could have prevented all of this.