Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

I molded my current life after a lazy hippie college drop out. Named Chet.

He does not exist in real life. At least not in the reality we all know.

But in the depths of my mind and my imagination this avatar must have acted as a powerful spell. An unintentional intentional god.

"Who is the master that makes the grass green?"

Where it all starts is, 1998. I was watching a show on the cartoon network called "Wait til your father gets home". It was pretty funny and contained a fair share of social commentary. Some say it was the true prototype for family guy and the simpsons.

I continued skipping classes in college and was becoming rapidly and deeply disenchanted with everything. School society family friends art.

I was running away slowly.

I didn't want to finish school. Didn't care. $30,000.00 blew away like trash.

This animated character fascinated me. It was who I was going to become. I found it kind of funny, and thought it was an entertaining model to follow. I wanted out of responsibilty, out of work. The rebellion bubbled over the top and spilled into my real life. Rebel without a cause for sure. "I will make nothing of myself". The struggle is not worth it. "Success has a price I refuse to pay." Are these the ghosts that i invited in to my mind?

Matthew 7:7 "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you"

Well it came true.

Lets fast foreward to last Friday. I'm out at CB Driscols, having a handfull of drinks and just marinating. I'm wearing my black fleece zipped all the way up. This cute blonde girl drunkly whooshes in from nowhere and says "YOU HAVE TO RELAX...RELAX!!!" Her hands reach up and unzip my jacket and unbutton my shirt three buttons. "THERE!"

What does this mean?

I think I've crash landed from the trajectory I set six years ago

I caught up with the horizon and it's getting dark and cold and numb and faded.

You will never find yourself because you're already there. Jump into the void.




P.S. There is a key to life in this post.


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