So many questions...

How can I feel this bad, and feel so fucking alive at the same time? At the book store, NONE of it matters at all comparatively. Songs have meaning that i was not hearing.\

Dopeness:

Major wtf time

Time runs left to right in this Feynman diagram of electron-positron annihilation. When interpreted to include retro causality, the electron was not destroyed, instead becoming the positron and moving backward in time.

retroactive causation is so in full effect.

Crazy dream, another cool house/cool apartment dream that turned into the dopest movie ever, almost. Living with Greg H I think, new things keep popping up, blown out 60's/70's style but a touch opulent and gaudy. From a small tiny apt it grows bigger and bigger. Bar in my room for parties, main room has 50 ft ish ceilings, souljah boy lives there? Then some crazy robot war breaks out with smooth 60's secret agent types. wtf? Small doors for elves or midgets that lived there too? House is on a corner.

So about that retroactive stuff. I think of the one thing and how it's not that other one. This leads me to think about the later, increasing it's vividity in my mind. Go to that class, think about clearing old notebooks and crap. The obvious one that everyone asks about is there too. Letters, etc. (Why did the computer just freeze?)The woman teaching the class talks about bound up emotion that can get released in that process. I'm thinking, maybe yeah..but prolly not that intense. The event from the future is already making it's way back to me in the past. So, is what I felt "real" or is it some physical manifestation of that clearing process? The act of throwing away in the future pre-empting? Or is it an uncovering of something. I only have questions. One horoscope did confirm and make me think.

Been walking my mind to an easy time

I'm on a shifting edge. Loosing it, and everything falling into place perfectly. You know, it's really all the same thing. God.

Is it real?

ftw, really trying to figure it all out. Wicked hangover, strange new/old feelings returning/resurfacing, is it true? I'm not really sure. It did feel real. I was quite fucking drunk though. Rebuilding as Keith Richards says.

Fucking hell. Space clearing old papers and files and notebooks, making room for the new. Career advancement mostly, but a little on the other tip. Reading old letters. Doing the laundry.

If the news is important it will find me.



International dance party so dope, exept for the whole, "my job being replaced by robots" things. Good use of technology.

The question is, how do you know if a feeling is real?

Daily thoughts

Muji is so dope.

Idea: store all of good condition second hand stuff, displayed tight clean way, clothes, records books, art, whatever, cafe, space, recycle or die....garden/hippie/design/alife.... see portland...spot at stewart airport..tight second hand stores..minimal.

Also, don't get twitter or non stop microblogging. Not for me.

Sunny day, good vibes, there is no cause and effect.

Burn The Ships, & Have A Great Time!

Practice writing and keep writing and writing and writing.

We're always writing and dreaming and thinking our story into being. Whether we know it or not, concious or unconcious, always. What we think of becomes. What we are becomes. What we are is. We are. I am. Thou art god as Heinlan says in Stranger. Take that as a metaphor or literaly. Take it as you will.

There is never a reason to consider anything else than what you want, what will make you fell good. What does your impulses and intuition tell you? But what of a 'negative thought"? On ethat is not in the best interest of all concerened, or all indeed? What of harmful compulsions? That's a tough one. Tests? Knowing deep down the better path? A feeling in contrast to redirect you to look elsewhere?

New paragraph, new day, new beginning always. Saved draft automaticly. What would bring me the most pleasure at this moment in time?

The sun sure feels good. Wind whips and refreshes and clean and cold. Reformatting the disk.

Dreams are coming on strong, deep and refreshing. Heavy with knowledge it feels. I like the feeling of being self sufficient and responsible. Being in command, no directing the flow. Little speed bumps here and there cause me to reflect. Pretty damn good overall. Only maybe trying to take too much in instead of giving.

Listen to music, write, find interesting or stimulating things, clean up. Go.

Keep going. Push the feeling on.

Regular diary. Very busy lately. Conference and promotion and promotion and preparing and parties and logistics. Oh no, you don't say.. an issue has come up? Hmmm, press foreward. Make it so. Dream bigger and bigger. Write first, ask questions later.

I feel so much better and on point with my new haircut. A world of difference.

Keep thinking these days about this one time in my life. It was beyond great in most ways, but not perfect. The one part though.. never really felt that before. Perhaps once, or hints of the gleam other times. I need advice on what if anything to do regarding it. It will reveal itself.

where was I?

Happy for some time to myself. I like all the options that surround me, not that I can really partake though...

It's officially springtime in the Northern hemisphere. Equal light and dark if only for a moment. I felt the shift. The big light is pulsing forth again. Our attention is being drawn back. New life springing up.

Don't think, do. Or thinkdo, review.

Drink in all the goodness. It's always right here. Now.

New day, all good

Sweet lord. Pushed it to the limit this weekend. DJing was great. Supposed to go to the dance marathon, but it got shut down due to some big fight. Partied extra hard Saturday night, slept all day Sunday. Sorry to everyone that I called up so late/early. DDialing in full effect. Lmao. Oh well.

Oh snap, ketchup is gonna be the hot new shit.

WTF? I'm so sick of people requesting songs when I dj. It's really getting out of hand. Every five minutes I see someone staring at me, and I just try to ignore them.

Several people requested motherfucking Miley Cyrus last night. What;s the world coming to? Did some ten year old girls sneak into the Royal Oak?

I really don't know anymore.

Anyway, it was great fun overall. I got to play some not-hip-hop, house/electro kind of joints. Modern djing is kind of weird, adhd out of control business. It's become so lowest common denominator. Everyone wants to hear the same crap, stuff they know. It's so pavlovian response. Any kind of newness, unless it's a new pop song (that's not really "new" because it's already been pummled into your brain by the media) is frowned upon.

I really need to go out and see what other djs are doing. I want to understand where everyone is at. Although I play mainly for the crowd, I'd rather get back to keeping it more real, playing dope, quality music. Crazy weird ecclectic shit. I want to really up the ante skill wise too.

This is going to be a big week for blogging, I can feel it.

Huh