Thursday, July 10, 2008

Patton Oswalt

fucking amazing. Go read now.

First off, I want to thank the teachers and faculty of Broad Run High School for first considering and then inviting me to speak here. It was flattering, I am touched and humbled, and you have made a grave mistake.

I’m being paid for this, right? Oh, wait, there’s some advice, right off the bat – always get paid. If you make enough money in this world you can smoke pot all day and have people killed.

I’m sorry, that was irresponsible.

You shouldn’t have people killed.

Boom! Marijuana endorsement eleven seconds into my speech! Too late to cancel me now!

It’s dumb-ass remarks like that which kept me out of the National Honor Soci


Further Justification Of My Lifestyle

Studies Show Kids May Not Be 'Bundles of Joy'

Marriage, the philosophical bachelor holds, will not only deprive one of his liberty, lighten his wallet and suck the romance from life, but it will prove an exacting hindrance, as lifelong bachelor Robert Burton noted in his Anatomy of Melancholy (1621):

“In sober sadness, marriage is a bondage, a thraldom, a hindrance to all good enterprises. 'He hath married a wife, and therefore cannot come’; a rock on which many are saved, many are cast away. Not that the thing is evil in itself, or troublesome, but full of happiness and a thing which pleases God; but to indiscreet, sensual persons, it is a feral plague, many times an hell itself…. Since, then, there is such hazard in the married state, keep thyself as thou art; ‘tis good to match, much better to be free. Consider withal how free, how happy, how secure, how heavenly, in respect, a single man is.”


Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Moar epic Writing Practice

I mostly live in a world of my own. From the time I was little, the world of my imagination was beyond vivid. So real, there were story lines and characters, and infinite worlds I inhabited on a daily basis.

For a long time it felt like who I was, was wrong. Wrong family, wrong time, wrong place. Not in a bad way, it just seemed like there was somewhere else i needed to be. The feeling subsided, but made me wonder. Years later, learning about reincarnation and parallel lives (more later perhaps for those not privy to such far out concepts), I realized there was perhaps a truth to those feelings.

I loved my family. Growing up with parents like I did was a blessing. Normal problems arose, but of course they happen and some believe we pick our circumstances for a reason. To learn certain lessons. A training ground. A game of sorts to work out our spiritual muscles. School of hard knocks it was not by any means, but "interesting times" perhaps as the Chinese blessing / curse goes.

My first memory. A few come in flashes. There was an episode of the Muppet show that my very younger self found insanely hilarious. It involved Kermit the frog being swung back and forth by Miss Piggy, or the human guest on the show. The swinging went on for a few back and forths and then he was thrown out twords the camera, off into space. I can still feel a little bit of the laughter well up inside me. The memory is set in my first house, the one on Jackson Avenue, in New Windsor, New York. As I'm recalling, replaying the so funny Muppet Show incident in my head I'm playing on the red painted wooden swing sett my Grandfather made. There was a round, pink plastic swing with yellow plastic rope and a wooden normal sitting style swing made of wood with a twine - rope maybe of plastic too. I see the black melted ends. Leeds me to believe it was not an organic material. It's sunny out. Bright, green grass, trees. The pond is behind me. I seem to be by myself. Totally lost, enjoying the moment. The thought of the Muppet show the only thing not in that present moment.

The thought is that moment.

I remember bits and pieces of that old house. My bedroom. Pulling out all the clothes out of my drawers. Laughing again. Wearing a Micky mouse club hat with two little black plastic ears. The logo is a label, or screen printed on. Felt, green or blue. There are pictures of this incident.



A flash of my niece faith comes to me now. I see her smile, and mine from that memory, that picture. They are one in the same.

here's another one.

(side note, is It bad that i really don't know the conventions of writing and grammar al that well? Should I be starting another paragraph, is the punctuation correct? I love disregarding rules and going free for all, but my conscience is saying 'but...but..")

I'm young again. Wearing my terry cloth light baby blue robe with white trim. It's really early in the morning. We're up, my parents and I, watching TV and waiting. I'm participating in some sort of contest to win a Sony Watchman. Absolutely the height of gadgetry and technological advancement at the time. Watch tv anywhere?!!! So cool, and so revolutionary. I can see early patterns of being fascinated by this stuff. No wonder I'm a trend forecaster. Piers called me a senior writer today. The weak side of me thought it as superfluous, meaningless, a joke, lack of better words. But it's perhaps true, Senior in age? Some other shave been with the site for a while, but I suppose I have been too. I do keep hitting home runs.

Any how.

Coco puffs are involved. Small pieces. Little sentences. Words and word combination.

Uh u oh, the narrative is dissipating. Poetry emerging.

Must be the beer.

I have conquered art. Must now go back - go forward into words, bring us all back to the symbolic truth love and beauty art that IS. Mastered that. Now this to lead the way.

I didn't win the tv, but was very excited. My parents got up to help me, watch me. They were excited for me.


The ancient stone walls that surround my fathers house contain many mysteries. I almost feel now that that narratives and imaginative story lines that I play acted out as a child were coming from the rocks. Cultural, mythical memory. Story lines transmitted along energy leys. straight into my budding brain. Seeding it.

The walls are crumbling a little now, but nothing that can't be fixed. John has the gift of constructing similar walls. Cosmetic but cosmic?

Monday, July 07, 2008

heaven's in the back seat of my cadillac...

sweet jesus. astro barry once again hits a home fucking run:

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Snip and snark all you want, but you'll be nitpicking your way through a losing battle. Why? Because, especially if you're dealing with a family member or somebody you live with, this whole dynamic is much much larger than the specifics of this episode or the isolated details that, by themselves, would tell a highly edited version of the story. And what's worse, it won't be 'over and done' by any stretch of your imagination, even if you were to score an apparent win on the conversational (that is, argumentative) front. After all, you will continue to have a relationship with them next week and the week after… and the deeper issues that weren't resolved (perhaps because they just let you get your way since it was easier than yelling and screaming) will follow you into the future. That's why going for the immediate victory might ultimately prove to backfire on you, Gemini. No matter where you actually stand in relation to them (and whether what's bugging you about them isn't merely a smokescreen for what's really got you worked up), it's probably better to nip such intimate disputes in the bud by talking less and listening more. Taking the extra effort to demonstrate your respect for their concerns will certainly ease the short-term tensions. Please note, though: I am not dismissing your gripes as illegitimate, nor favoring your housemate or family member over you in this showdown. I'm merely pointing out your surest path to a productive week: you behaving well on the homefront. And if they pull a power trip on you, let 'em have it—for now.

anyone reading this that's aware of my current plight will lmao over how accurate.

its clearly time for a change.

...let me take you there

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Emily Dickinson also pretty fresh


k, time for something that makes some sort of sense besides random writing practice stream of consciousness bullshit.

today i was thinking about the preppy vibe, lifestyle. Maybe it was the beach in Florida and the neo-preppy southern vibe. Whatever triggered it, it's fly. Even though it's a current hipster jive turkey look, I'm digging the insanity and the simplicity and tradition.

to find out more:

Lets switch gears and make a 360:

really digging Cum's artwork. Love the sleazy, lofi dirty vibe and sexual imagery.

I first feel in love with the OOFT camp's sound when I heard The Revenge remix of Savin The Day by The Allissi Brothers. Ghostbusters sound track for all who don't know. I listened to that song constantly. It was my workout music, and I played it out whenever possible.

Go check out their blog for ill dj mixes and reedits that are pure gold fire. The sound is a mash of moodymanesque loopy funky disco joints and deep deep deep late night afterhours bleepy, dubby house.

They be killin it.

On the poetry tip, I'm feeling Joshua Beckman. Somehow, he's seemingly balling as a poet. According to my internets research he has cribs in NYC and Seattle.

check this gem:

Do not spend $1.00 on two scallion pancakes.
Do not hail a ten dollar cab to blow off steam
and smoke his back seat up
and watch the meter jump by quarters.
Do not spend $7.50 on AXE HANDLES by Gary Snyder
Do not spend $35.00 on the collected anyone.

I'll end with this

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
by E. E. Cummings

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond

any experience,your eyes have their silence:

in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look will easily unclose me

though i have closed myself as fingers,

you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens

(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and

my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,

as when the heart of this flower imagines

the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals

the power of your intense fragility:whose texture

compels me with the color of its countries,

rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes

and opens;only something in me understands

the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)

nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

review of the last six hours

holy fuck I'm distracted. I'm pushing and squeezing words out of me. Blog posts are dribbling. The source material is there. Block in my brain. Not setting limits. Need clean edges and times for everything. Don't let little things make it spiral out of control. Stick with the program here.

wanted moaar nature, walking, idling. Perhaps do it first, then do the work. Or set specific goal for the work, amount, time, etc - then jfdi. Then spend rest of day on leisure pursuits. ????, profit.

Feels better nao, depression lifting.

wait, what the hell?

writing practice bitch. Getting to 500 posts. Getting to somewhere that means something. Writing movement really really . Our the window, baby deer, mother. Get freaked out they run back and forth across the yard.

Lol. A cycle has come back around, 4rth of July is bound to the weekend for three years now. MY lower back hurts, I dont want to blog today but it should actulally be pretty easy. Should I buy that cheap nice pc or wait for the mac. Hm. What to do today, weant nature, want freedom want idyllic wandering. Flaneur of the noosphere and irl. the 1337 poet. wtf. I need to promote thweet. Make the myth. Hypemen. Age of hype. Skype, It guy, office space. That office comic is really funny. I need to learn how to touch type. I need to write a wait wut. Keep going.

I've taken to listening to classical music. Fuck its 718 am already. I'm in Cornwall. Is it weird that I like coming back here?

Way way better than before. Even better tha i could possibly imagine. This wise and that wise. I know what your saying.

I'm part of a grammar that's bigge rthan rules.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

todo list

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

those were nice, even for an instance

don't give in. Don't give in to the temptation to READ more. That's enough for now. It's time to let it go and out.

Hay, to YOU. Is your poetry real. I'd like to get under that hood of yours and tool around. See what makes you tick.

Hopefully not like diffusing a bomb.

i have the beer now, maybe some classical music

need to revisit those writing books, or not. Get some structure to this rambling. This is all loose stream of consciousness writing meant to let it out and limber up my skillz. I can feel it affecting my future pro blog writing already which is a good thing. I'm far too constrained when I do that. did you know watermelon is natures viagra? Lots of citrulline (sp/)? precursor to the awesome arginine. Perhaps that explains my raging sex drive this weekend? Ate half a watermelon on friday and cock on full blast since then. Sorry if oversharing but fuck you if you can't take hoenesty. (is that diorected at me?)

The floodgates are ripped open. Need to constructivly direct this energy into some sort of mold.


emulating bukowski for writing practice - need to be not as destructive - use the vices as a catapult into a new reality, a new mythic life.

getting looser

they are all getting to me crazy in their own way. So am i, sometimes but do I infringe on their psychic turf as much?

thinking of the awkward writing in the inflight magazine (delta) today. there was feeling behind that? Not just a job. A job. awkward poretyryry piracy this, no matbe it all works.

Pick oNe, NO!

what exactly do i want to be? Poet, journalist, blogger, writer, short stories, non fiction, fiction, errotic love poems, gonzo, real, simple, obtuse - THE TRUTH. Poetic truth, artistic truth, exageration for effect? Only real. What am I feeling.

Disk Jockey, Designer, currator of innovation, shaman pathfinder, archilogist of the future, energy science researcher - human potential and being

evry day in every way better and better??

lol wut srsly stfu and gtfo

no. but it sometimes works. Is the transmission of the idea the meme the important part or the form. The form IS though. I'm walking in verbal circles here.

do i have to wear protection from myself?

why am i getting wristburn and carpal tunnel now? For so long, nothing. What is this? what is the message.

i'm thinking about the beer

been reading and studying Bukowski all weekend.

Powerful, real.

what can we do?

at their best, there is gentleness in Humanity.
some understanding and, at times, acts of
but all in all it is a mass, a glob that doesn't
have too much.
it is like a large animal deep in sleep and
almost nothing can awaken it.
when activated it's best at brutality,
selfishness, unjust judgments, murder.

what can we do with it, this Humanity?


avoid the thing as much as possible.
treat it as you would anything poisonous, vicious
and mindless.
but be careful. it has enacted laws to protect
itself from you.
it can kill you without cause.
and to escape it you must be subtle.
few escape.

it's up to you to figure a plan.

I have met nobody who has escaped.

I have met some of the great and
famous but they have not escaped
for they are only great and famous within

I have not escaped
but I have not failed in trying again and

before my death I hope to obtain my

from blank gun silencer - 1994

look it's twitter

Easy short posts. Look, I'm microblogging. Pay per page - balling!

no rly!

i swear i've been blogging since 1998. There is an older, hidden web page somewhere.

it's not what i feel, it's so much more

i'm angry with my choice of words.

and always edit last

when it's hardest to write, that's when it's most important.

God damn right.

Just came back from a most epic weekend. Lisa's family was so great. Hospitality was flowing everywhere. I probably have not eaten that much food in months, if not years. Pot roast with potatoes and carrots, barbecue chicken with a creamy rice dish, shrimp wrapped with steak wrapped with bacon! Grilled steak, asparagus, Creole tomatoes, biscuits, ribs, white bread with barbecue sauce, so much beer, candy bars, chips, soda, coffee (decaf wtf-only bad part), 6 kinds of ice cream, hamburgers, honey glazed spiral cut ham, rolls, croissants, potato salad, macaroni salad, unending cornucopia.

Everything was taken care of. Craziness was just part of the game, not anything to get upset over. The level of flow was sky high.

Made me want to get all my family and friends together and do the same. So much love and chill vibes.

Board games? Yeah - everyone was into it, and although there was a little group scheduled activity vibe - people did their own things.

Walking down the beach highway in flip flops, bikers pass me "sorry" gravel mud, puddle - splashed by a passing truck.

Buying smokes so cheap - different world entirely than the north - tom thumb gas station. What the fuck is that?

Piggly wiggly was the first evar supermarket. Jimmy arguing with Katlin.

Don't act uppity with the boss of dreamland.

Um, LSU, memphis, alabama, flo rida, coach and tans. Wearing the same clothes for three days, maybe it's time to change. Feet bare feels good and hurts so good walking all over different textures.

need to shut off my phone when writing. even though I'm apt not to answer it, it

still is s temptation.

fuck this brb

what the hell was i talking about.

As I was walking today I realized that I have all these epiphanies, bursts of creative genius walking around doing shit. I take notes, think about it and feel warm and ecstatic. The whole universe, god, joy pours out. Love drips from street signs and buildings have so much meaning.

Then they sit in little collections. Notes books, text files, todo lists, scraps of here and there. I need to bridge that gap from that inspiration holistic world in a grain of sand thinking to a - some sort of finished product. rarely do i visualize that finished product although the inspiration always holds it within.

note/inspiration - - - - - finished work

poet as sketch? outline inspiration - finished product, flesh out like a drawing.